Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are like me, then.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Scientists Stumble Upon The World’s Oldest Stomach Stone Fossil - The Daily Galaxy

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why are men obsessed with breasts and their size? I don't quite see women being obsessed with the penis - Why is this so?

I was tired of fighting.

The sadness was still there.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Forgotten in a collection, the discovery of this fossil presents a real problem for scientists as it doesn't belong to any known living family. - Farmingdale Observer

It’s here now, writing to you.

And the sadness?

It’s still here.

What are some disadvantages of living in rural areas? What are the advantages?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Could Trump’s ‘big beautiful bill’ kill the OFR and accidentally sabotage SOFR? - Financial Times

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

I was tired of trying and failing.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

AI Cracks Mars Mystery: 500,000 Streaks Solved Without a Drop of Water - SciTechDaily

Be who you already are.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Chris Conley announces his retirement - NBC Sports

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Oxford study finds 'extraordinary' tremors caused by tsunamis - BBC

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Haunting Image Shows The Moon Deimos From The Surface of Mars - ScienceAlert

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I had run out of hope.